It’s funny how the human mind works. Take my mother in-law for example. The woman has never been religious, nor has she ever even resembled someone who’s religious. As far as I knew, she had no faith in a deity at all. Then one bright and shiny day she read a religious article online, and POOF. Suddenly she had faith and believed in a higher order of things. Now, some may say that this is because she saw the “light,” but I think it’s related to the fact that she’s now over 60 and feeling uneasy about death. As our time runs low here, we want to believe more than ever. You wouldn’t believe how many people suddenly get faith or take-up a religion in their golden years. It’s like all of the sudden they want some almighty being to accept them and care for them after death. Actually, that’s exactly what it is. I suppose a random religious article or encounter with a religious individual could have a powerful effect on an older individual or someone approaching death’s door.

Does the branch of religion matter? This is an excellent question that I’ve pondered most of my life. I truly think that believing in God is believing in God. Just because a biased religious article tells you that Catholic is the only way to heaven doesn’t make it so. Remember, these are all subjective pieces written by men and women. No God ever wrote a religious article on how Muslim is the only true religion. You have to choose your own beliefs and trust what you feel is right. Humans need to stop following the leader.

More articles about Religion Meditation

Let’s take the case of your toddler, who suddenly gets a case of never-ending – or so it seems – temper tantrums. What happened to that sweet, pliable child? You’re ready to tear your hair out if you can’t get a handle on this behavior. Your bookstore, whether online or at a local shop, is certain to carry at least a few self help books relating to child developmental stages!

While your pediatrician can surely give you some clues, busy doctors seldom have the time to spend going into detailed issues that help you be an effective parent during this stage. A self help book on the topic can be quite educational, citing reasons for the behavior, how to deal with a child’s tantrums and how long you might expect the situation to endure. This type of book can be reassuring to a parent who hasn’t seen this particular movie before! Moreover, you can review sections that you feel contain valuable hints and information, until you feel you’ve got a grip on the issues. If you’ve gained the background knowledge and still feel the need for your pediatrician’s opinions, you’ll have specific questions you might not have known to ask, prior to reading your self-help book.

Most bookstores have a section devoted exclusively to self help books, which says something about their value and popularity. The self help section contains books that might be considered a genre of the non fiction market. These books typically deal with psychological, social and cultural issues, such as parenting, family issues, etiquette and socialization. Other common topics include career planning, dream interpretation, personality types and behaviors.

For example, your teen is in high school and is expressing interest in developing a career path to guide them in choosing colleges and classes. Get a self help book on career planning and let your child educate himself on just what decisions should be made and how to reach workable, solid conclusions.

Maybe you’ve started having a series of strange dreams that have you puzzled, but not alarmed. If you normally don’t have a pattern of dreams like this, a self help book on dream interpretation can provide all the answers you need.

While some situations may demand professional help, there are so many issues you can deal effectively with on your own, by buying a good self help book on the subject.

More Self Help Articles

All of this is great news for the part of me that lives in fear and is looking for reasons to stay unmotivated.  When I am looking for a sponser for my negativity, the media is a  great comfort.  There is only one thing missing from the media and other merchants of despair, perspective.

If we zoom out a little and look at not only the so called  problem but also what is being done about the problem we will see a flipside to this crisis.  Compare your personal life with the collective social order we live in and you can see some parallels.  The parallels being  true wisdom and growth have often followed intense pain. The pain is there to let us know it is time to make changes, positive changes. 

For example, take gas prices. Would it even be possible for our government to come together and pass legislation to increase the fuel efficiency on our vehicles if gas was a buck twenty five a gallon?  Chances are that the next new vehicle you buy will be more fuel efficent than the last. 

Would we have such a inclusive dialogs about the environment and global warming if we did not have so many natural disasters along with the gas prices?  The chances of our country and others coming together in the interest of clean air are much greater because of recent events. Ten years ago the chances of getting any kind of reform on health insurance in the US was around zero but because the situation has detriated so rapidly politicans of both parties have at least put together plans for future change.

There are plenty of examples of why we will be a better world in the future because of the pain we are enduring in the present you just have to look beyond the headlines.  What is so encouraging about the problems we are having now is that they have progressed at such a rapid pace that it forces us to work together and come up with solutions that will benefit generations to come. 

I read somewhere that if you throw a frog in boiling water he will jump right out but if you put a frog in luke warm water and increase the temperature gradually to a boil we will not move and die.  A gruesome vision but I think it is a decent analogy on what is going on today.  If gas prices went up a quarter a year we could  be driving around in these gigantic suburban assault vehicles polluting the environment and sometimes taking up two parking spaces. But now we are forced to rethink what we are doing and just maybe evolve in the process. 

I listened to a news broadcast about some affluent folks in LA who own Mercedes and other expensive vehicles are now riding the bus and subway (yes they have a subway) to get to work for the first time in their lives.  Now that is progress.

Brian Blades

We listen to audiobooks, we watch the t.v. specials, we read all these self help books, but nothing. Why?

Because we are a bunch of sorry-ass losers who have negative egos the size of Australia. These egos have been built over years of low self-esteem, personal failures and family pain bodies.

We absorb all these self-help bullshit thinking that it will help us, but in the end, we tell ourselves that we are lying to ourselves if we practice what is recommended.

But the bottom line is, we are going absolutely nowhere. We sit with our chin in our hands thinking about what we can we do with our lives, thinking about what our purpose is. When we come up with something, our egos or pain bodies (as Tolle calls it) shoot it down, with some lame excuse.

We have a ton of resistance. Our pain bodies thrive in this nadir that we put ourselves in. Our true selves know what we can manifest, but our pain bodies will not let us listen. It drowns out our true voice with negative thought and apathy.

If we know this and accept it, our pain bodies will no longer control us. Watch “A Beautiful Mind” with Russel Crowe, the true story of John Forbes Nash, a Nobel Laureate Mathmetician who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. Nash became fully aware of his illness and faced it straight on, eventually overcoming it.

We can do the same, we have no excuse. DO IT NOW!

Obviously, the families feel that the shirt is part of who they are; the shirt is a strong identity to self.  Most people who commented on the article think these families are, at least, stupid.

Of course, this story gets front page because it makes our egos feel good. We feel that we are better than those two families, because this is such a trivial matter to get angry about. But remember, these families are unconscious, that is blinded by ego. I’m sure they will realize this soon enough and work their way toward being aware of their being.

Positive thinking is not a skill. Negative thinking is a skill. A skill that takes some time to perfect. Negative thinkers are not born they are made. It takes a lot of conditioning and coaching from friends and family. How many children under the age of 6 do you know who are depressed and obsessed with negative thoughts. Not many I bet. Even kids that are in situations that you would think would warrant negativity seem to have a bright outlook on life.

Are children’s positive outlook due to their parents or surrounding environment? Perhaps in some cases. But mysteriously most children seem to be enthusiastic and positive toward life. Why can children be in a complete rage one minute turn around and be euphoric the next but when we adults encounter difficulties tend to hold and relive the moments as long as we can? I do not know the answer and it makes me really mad! Eventually as these kids grow up many of them have changed their outlook.

Stop Trying
If you are a well conditioned negative thinker and want to move to a positive one then give up trying to be positive. The effort itself may compound your troubles. A certain amount of negative thinking has its place. Positive cannot exist without the negative. Being miserable, angry, or disgruntled all the time is not fun but getting upset with yourself for having these thoughts only doubles your anxiety.

The Solution?
We all want easy to follow steps to take to solve all of our percieved problems or shortcomings. The key word is perceived.  Maybe negative thinking is not a problem at all. Its just a skill that has been overused and overdeveloped. It maybe useful at times to have thoughts of fear and anxiety for surivial purposes however taken to the extreme it can cause much more harm then good. It may have taken a life time of practice to get your negative energy where it at so be patient when it does not disappear as quickly as you like.

The first thing you might do is not feel guilty when these thoughts occur and the resulting actions. In addition do not give these thoughts or energy any credibility. While continuing to let the negativity flow doubt the validaty of these thoughts. Have a sense of humor about it. Observe yourself getting angry or upset as if you are watching yourself on a tv but without the guilt.

For example let’s say you are getting angry that your iPod is not working. You say to yourself “There I go again getting pissed off about my iPod not working. I am really good at finding ways to get mad.”

Don’t take these thoughts seriously and eventually they will not find energy to feed on. The key is don’t let yourself get upset about getting upset; let it play out. There are many books that say you should replace the negative thoughts with a positive one, if that works for you great. It does not work for me because I feel at some deep down level I am lying to myself or spinning the truth. I would like to argue that we are positive by default and we have practiced negativity for so long that we think it is the other way around. So we go chasing this perceived positive state that has been with us all along. So don’t feel guilty, don’t resist, and let your dim light shine.

Brian Blades
The Flipside